Ask a high school student what they want to do after graduation, and you’ll probably hear one of two answers:
“I have no idea.”
Or…
“I’ve always wanted to be a ______.”
Both answers are perfectly normal. But neither starts with the most important question.
Instead of asking, “What do you want to do?” I think we should first ask, “Who are you?”
Because the better you understand yourself, the better decisions you’ll make—not just about your career, but about college, relationships, leadership, and life.
Most People Choose a Career Backwards
We’re often told to start by looking at careers.
What jobs are in demand?
Which ones pay the most?
What degree should I get?
Those questions matter. However, they’re secondary.
Instead, start by understanding how you’re wired.
Ask yourself:
- What gives you energy?
- How do you solve problems?
- What kind of environment helps you do your best work?
- Do you enjoy collaborating with people, or do you prefer independent work?
- Do you thrive with structure or flexibility?
- What motivates you when things get difficult?
While these questions won’t point you to the perfect career, they will help you eliminate paths that probably aren’t a great fit while recognizing opportunities where you’ll naturally thrive.
Success Isn’t About Becoming Someone Else
In fact, one of the biggest mistakes I see is people trying to build careers around someone else’s expectations.
The outgoing student thinks they have to become an accountant because it pays well.
The analytical student feels pressured to pursue sales because that’s what everyone else is doing.
The creative student convinces themselves their gifts aren’t practical.
As a result, many people spend years pursuing careers that look successful on paper but never feel like the right fit. The goal isn’t to become someone you’re not. It’s to understand the unique strengths you’ve already been given and learn how to use them well.
Self-Awareness Creates Better Decisions
Once you know yourself, you make better choices because you understand what fits.
You don’t chase every opportunity simply because it looks impressive.
You don’t compare your journey to everyone else’s.
You become more confident saying “yes” to opportunities that align with your strengths—and “no” to ones that don’t.
Ultimately, that confidence doesn’t come from having all the answers. It comes from knowing yourself well enough to make thoughtful decisions.
Every person is uniquely created with value and purpose. Your goal isn’t to fit someone else’s definition of success—it’s to discover how your unique gifts can serve other people. When work aligns with who you are, it’s more than a paycheck. It becomes one of the ways you make the world a little better.
Your Career Is Only Part of the Story
Moreover, self-awareness is valuable for so much more than choosing a job.
It helps you become a better teammate.
A better leader.
A better friend.
A better spouse one day.
The same skills that help you thrive at work also help you thrive everywhere else.
When people understand themselves better, they make better decisions, build healthier relationships, and create stronger organizations.
Final Thought
To sum it up, the world will spend a lot of time asking you what you want to be or telling you what you should be.
Before you answer that question, spend some time answering another one:
Who am I?
It may be the most important career decision you ever make.